Okay, here we go! If you…
… can’t wait to tell this person about the annoying thing that happened today, because they have such a satisfying eye-roll
It’ll express their irritation so their face can take a break.
…are constantly emailing Lyft because this person left their stuff in the car after brunch
It’s not a foolproof way to keep them from losing all of their shit, but it can’t hurt.
… can’t fathom how much this person gets done in a day
Remind them that all their hard work is gonna pay off …and they deserve it!
… wouldn’t want to go to Pride with anyone else
They gotta let Santa know.
… can’t believe how much shit this person carries on their person on a daily basis
They’re not a regular nerd; they’re a cool nerd.
…want to encourage this person… but in a goth way
It’s creepy, but it’s loving!
… have never heard anyone talk about the Illuminati so much
I, too, am into cults, okay?
…text this person all of your plant questions
You could give them a plant, but that’s just adding more work.
…stalk this person’s insta to see the neon signs they’ve faved
Old sign; new joke!
…always subtly looking to see what fun socks this person is wearing
Festive, but subtle.
…admire how adaptable this person is
Honor their flexibility with a mutable creature.
…know Taylor Swift
She’s in on the joke now, guys.
…are a Georgia and they are a Karen (or vice-versa)
Also serves as a fun way to get everyone else to leave them alone!
…have seen this person murder over 100 plants
They can not only keep a plant alive, they can carry it around forever!
…are just pretty proud of this person
It’s perfect for any strong woman — so any women, ya know?
…could sit and complain to this person from happy hour until last call
It’s a real power move to walk into a meeting carrying that
…can trust this person to be honest, whether they want to be or note
Help the world see what they see when they look in the mirror
…know everything there is to know about this person’s meds
They live in a pro-therapy home, baby, and they don’t care who knows it.
…always order the mozzarella sticks
Never stop dreaming of pizza.